On Fame/Infamy

So I have a really bad time with people coming up to me and saying hey! And talking about how we met the other night at X persons house or they tell me they've met me multiple times and I have no recollection of who they are. Now I go out and party, but I don't feel like I get drunk enough where I wouldn't even remember someone. I'm bad with names but sometime people come up to me and I feel like I've never seen them before. A part of me wonders if it's me or if my doppleganger have ruined something else for me. Is it people who get too drunk and then meet one of my dopplegangers and then mistake me when sober for one of my dopplegangers? Possibly? Who knows.

On Cream Wolf

So I found this great game on AdultSwim.com basiclly you drive around in an ice cream truck serving ice cream to children. You usally have 2 days before the full moon comes out at which point you gather up all the children that got fat from eatting ice cream and take them back to your hide out in the woods where you turn into a werewolf and eat them. The more kids you eat, the more flavors you unlock to use in the next town. This game has some huge creeper moments in it (aside from the entire premise of the game). In the tutorial it tells you not to contact other cars/adults because "they don't understand you like I do". In the ice cream mini game if you complete an order with a high enough rating this amazingly creepy voice says things like "Good Job" and "I Love You". Then when the moon turns full the happy go lucky ice cream truck music that's been playing gets warped into this creepy-haunted-fun-house type tune.

In other news, I got into the Biopsych PhD program here at VCU, so come fall 2010 I will officially be a graduate student. I move into a new apt about two weeks ago and it's amazing, good location, cheap rent, nice house. Other than that my nose has been to the grind stone both downtown and on the MPC.

On Crisis of Self

So I just had a really sobering talk with Joe over the phone this morning. Long story short he made it sound like I didn't have a chance of getting in anywhere else because of my GPA and that if I did stay here in biopsych I'd have to make all these comprises. One of the biggest things was he said that since the stipend was a little low that I should keep working in Jill's lab, ya know 10-15 hours a week since I can work on the weekends. Not only do I feel like Jill is already counting down the days til I leave but one of the things that I was most looking forward to about grad school was finally being able to focus on one lab. This whole 2 labs 60 hours/week bullshit is just that, bullshit. I was looking forward to working in just one lab, even if it is 60 hours/week still at least I'll be getting real work done. Now I'm questioning if I should even stay in academia, or in the city. It just seemed like everything was finally coming together, I would stay here for grad school move into my new place. When/if Cory moves to New York Carol Ann could move in, and things would be really nice and my life would calm down again. Now I'm questioning everything. Do I apply for master's programs still? Do I say fuck it and just get a regular job? Do I really say fuck it and follow through with my fall back of being an NYC bike messenger? Not to mention that I'm strapped for cash again because of this new place it's nothing major just getting together the security deposit without having the other one back. And I'm getting about 900 less back from taxes than what I expected (1.7k less than what someone told me) so that dashes some fun dreams I had. Why is it that when things are just starting to calm down and make sense something comes and fucks everything up.

Oh yeah Icing on the cake. As soon as I got off the phone with Joe (which made me late for an injection) one of the dippers decided to stop working so I ended up having to change it out after fucking with it for 10 min pushing everything completely off schedule. Then when I finally switch it out get the new group in and plug the broken one in to another box and try and figure out what's wrong, it works just fine. And does anyone else in the lab help or ask what I said after I mumble about the dipper being broken while running around to fix it? No, one of them just sheepishly asked if the box was going to be working while she was saying that she was leaving.

I'm just at a loss about everything right now. I wish there was someone that could just descend from the heavens and whisper in my ear the one thing that would make this all ok but I know that won't happen. I want to take time off and clear my head sit down and try to figure things out but I don't have time for that. I need to keep going in all of my work. I'm just have no idea where I'm going in life, even after all of these plans that I've made, they always fall through and it seems like a lower my expectations each time and that's what's going to happen until it's just a shadow of my former ambition.

On Science and Fire

So in my worm lab I’m helping a fellow lab mate recover some old strains of worms to freeze. In addition to recovering the animals and decontaminating them some of them are infested with mites. Mites are the worst kind of contamination you can get because they can spread like wildfire, go through parafilm, and survive a lot of things. So I had the mite problem under control in most of strains save 2. So what I did was when I chunked them I did so in a ring of ethanol and when I was done and everything was sealed up I would ignite the ring of ethanol to burn any mites on the surface of my lab bench. I put the ethanol down first with the first strain and it didn’t really light well, so for the second strain I did the chunk, sealed everything, then but the ethanol ring down and light it. Bigger flame then I expected, may have melted the plates shut. I guess we’ll find out when I come back to that plate….

On Neuroscience Pt 2

Sorry this is so late team, the rest of neuroscience was cool, saw some cool posters and head a talk from both Eric Kandel, and Richard Morris (inventer of the Morris Water Maze) both of whom are really huge names in neuroscience and biopsych.

Went to H&M couldn't find any long pants and then had a girl moment and flipped out when I couldn't fit into a 32. Ended up getting a shirt, hat, and underoos. Ended up going to UO and getting a pair of pants, almost made the move back up to skinny but decided to stay with the super skinnies for now. Also got a shirt.

Later that night went out with Jason and some of his old undergrad buddies, but before we meet up with them we went to a bar and had a drink with Rob and Laura. Rob talked to me about my work and that got me really pumped, and I had a really good feeling about everything. Had 2 pints there then went to dinner at the Webber Grill. The food was amazing, nice rare 16oz prime rib with a huge slab of mashed potatoes. By the time we were done none of us could move, walked around looking for another place to grab a drink at but ended up going back to the bar Jason and I had started at. Now, one thing I haven't mentioned is that apparently at Eau Clair, they make 'em big. Jason's old advisor and the two of his old undergrad guys were huge. For once I felt like the smallest guy in the group, usually I can count on my height taking care of that but there guys were tall and thick. Still though none of us could manage to choke down more than one beer, by the time we left the bar a second time I was drunk off the food, not the booze.

On Sunday I went to the poster session early and there wasn't too many posters I wanted to check out so I ended up leaving the confrence early to go explore downtown Chicago, went to Millenium Park and saw the usual tourist attractions like the bean. It was fun but I wish I had a camera/other people there with me.

So Jason and I roomed together, we also presented on the last half of the second day. We also thought it would be a great idea to get wasted the night before we had to present. So while walking around the conference on Tuesday Sarah and I walk by a booth and one of the cronies invites us to a presentation they're giving on the first knockout rats which is pretty cool in itself, but as an added bonus, they decided to throw in open bar and food. So Sarah, Jason, a girl Jason knows (claire), and a guy that's the girls friend (gilbert) go and we listen to the talk eat free food have a few drinks. Good times had by all but they begin to shoo people out. Sarah presents to the group a Grad Student social which also has a free bar and so we formulate the plan of going to Sarah's Hotel to drop stuff off then going to this grad student social. On our way to the hotel we get a call from Joe who'se at the invite only presidential reception at the Chicago Field Meuseum. So we hike across soldier's field to the meuseum. Here's where "gilbert" makes his first mistake, we get to the meuseum and start to walk up the steps, and out of no where in a really serious tone he goes "don't embarass your advisors here!". No shit, what do I look like to you a high schooler? Anyway, swanky food, a bar where they know how to make drinks, live Jazz band, and open exibits. What more could you ask for! We wander, had some drinks, etc. Then around 10:30 they began to shoo people out too.

We all leave the Museum but it's raining lightly, there's murmers but the group decides to walk it the 2-3ish blocks back to the hotel, so I light a cig and begin to walk. I then hear Sarah calling out to me, they're all getting on a bus that's going to the hotel. A few drinks into me I tell them to go on and that I'll meet them there, it's not raining that badly anyway. On my walk back I meet up with a few guys who had just gotten jobs at the museum and I talked to them about the area, then after they left I caught up to a group of (I assume) students from the University of Mexico (?) who were a little drunk to say the least. They were a fun group to walk with.

Get back to the hotel, say goodnight to Sarah and the four of us decide to go out. They insist on getting a cab and so we're in the cab and claire is checking her voice mail and I'm giving her shit (playfully) and etc and this is where Gilbert makes his second mistake. Again in a really serious voice he says "she's on the phone with her advisor chill". A) shes not B) if she was don't you think I'd know that? We get to the bar and meet up with calire's advisor who is also a former student of Joes. Long story short gilbert and the advisor talk bussiness the entire night, Jason was able to chime in a few times and so was claire but after 30 min I stopped even listening and just stared at the TV and drinking. So since I couldn't talk I was throwing back rum and coke's fairly quickly, and compound with the two incidents from earlier in the night with shutting me out of the convo plus his horrible face and purple shirt I began sending texts along the lines of "fucking grimace is giving me an ulcer" you get the drift.

Finally we leave the bar around 2 well drunk and minus grimace, we decide to go get more beer and drink in Millenium Park. We....get to a 7-11 some how try to buy beer and after I've brough up my selection the guy says "oh sorry I forgot to lock it", apparently there's no beer-o'clock in Chicago, which more than likley means that I looked/smelled too drunk for the guy to sell me booze. We try to go to Millenium park but as we're walking up the steps a disembodied voice tells us the park's closed. Seeing as how it's 3am we decide to just go back to the hotel (claire in tow) and drink the rest of the beer we have there.

We get back and I get on FB, TV gets turned on etc. I get up and go to the bathroom and as I come back out claire and Jason are on his bed giggleing and etc. I decide this is really awkward so I change my shirt throw on a hoodie and hat and when they ask where I'm going I say "going to see a man about a dog" and walk out. Long story short I wonder around the streets of Chicago drunk and alone at 4 in the morning. Go to a 7-11 get some grubb, go back and sit in the lobby and txt Jason giving him a 10 min warning. Come back up go to bed around 5. Wake up at 10, pack and check out at 11, put posters up at 12:30 and stand for the next 4 hours. Almost missed the flight on the way back because they decided to board early, got back into Richmond around midnight Wednesday (or Thursday if you want to be technical).

Overall, fun trip.

On Neuroscience: Bathroom edition

So a few things about our hotel bathroom.
1) Why is there a creepy view slot in the shower curtain? If somone needs to pee while I'm showering I don't want to be able to see them.
2) Why does our soap smell like butter? Is this a hotel, or an alien trap? aka, am I going to be eaten?
3)Why are the towels so course, I mean really. I dried myself off today and my legs and arms were itchy. I just got out of the shower why am I itching?!
4) That bear. Don't even get me started on that damn travlodge bear.