Sunday, April 26, 2009

On My Brother's Blood

In 2 days I'll be done with classes.

In 10 days I'll of taken my last final.

In 20 days I'll be walking.

In 3 months I'll be leave the house I've lived in for 3 years.

In 1 year I'll be leaving Richmond.

So many questions still unanswered, so many questions that have come up in the past few days. So many questions that I thought were answered that have resurfaced.

The three classes I have finals in I need to get 98, 108, 104 to get the grades I want. My plan is to study for each one intensively and independently because I have a few days between each. 71/64/73 will be good enough for 2 of them but one of them I have to get the upper grade. I'm not sure if I'll be able to pull it off and that really scares me. I'm making flashcards but that's going questionably well.

Listening to my favorite music is self destructive but I can't help it. I want to listen to it.

I'm thinking of making another mix tape.

I want to know how things are going but I've promised myself I won't come back, if you want to you need to come to me.

I just want it to be like that night when my mattress was on the floor and we listened to music.

We've all got to grow up though, I guess that's what the moral is. Things change, people change, the situation can never stay the same.

I wonder if you still plan on coming to my graduation.

I wonder if you're thinking the same things that I am. I know your not but it's nice to pretend.

I almost wrote again today. I haven't written in a long time, I always wish I wrote more. Short stories/screenplays/comics etc. However I don't practice and plan these things enough for them to be decent so when I do end up doing something like that they're horrible. I still wish I had written today but I had a good day otherwise.

I just want to be focused for 10 days. That's all I ask, I want to block out everyone and all the bullshit going on for 10 days. I just want to do well this semester.

So tired of it all.

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